This is not going to be one of my well scripted and edited pieces I usually put out there.
It is just going to be an outpour of my mind and emotions. I doubt I am going to publicise it.
If you happen to chance on this then kudos to you. You are a staunch follower of this blog. Before I start this I want my close family and friend’s to know I am at peace so they shouldn’t worry or think I am emotionally unstable. Don’t worry mom (if you read this). I am just “freeing my mind”.
I attended a very close friend’s funeral over the weekend. She died from a car accident while driving back home from running errands. Some school related, since she had just been admitted to Pharmacy school, and others personal.
There was an open casket. And as I stared into her face, which to me looked sad (probably from the final moments of pain due to the accident), so many memories came rushing into my mind. Some of her and some of the time I spent with her. That’s when I realized I was with her every step of all her major decisions from last year 2014 to the early parts of this year.
While I reminisced, I got bombarded with epiphanies of how much she influenced my perspective on life last year. I also came to the realisation life is too short for bullshit and drama. Something I already knew but got re enforced by the situation. Excuse my French but think about it. Most of the drama in our lives right now are human caused. Of Course sometimes circumstances beyond our control contribute to certain imbalances in our lives but certainly those imbalances are sometimes amplified beyond reach by human factors.
Factors that are unnecessary, can be avoided and intentional placed there because someone somewhere feels the need to be selfish or be the centre of attention to feed their ego. And it will surprise you most of the time the people involved know the right thing to do. They just don’t. Never underestimate the will power of a man.
The most outstanding of these epiphanies was how my friend, even though not entirely free of drama in her life being human afterall, avoided and also seemed to steer away from dramatic circumstances as much as possible while she lived. I realized it always kept her centred and focused. It always kept a smile on her face and a skip in her step. She would tell me, “Kwame, that’s some B.S (Bullshit) no one has time for.”
And I believe thats true. I always tell everyone around me I do not like drama in my life and try to avoid it. I took this position the minute my sister died about 3 years ago. She, even though very young at the time, also did not tolerate nonsense. She would tell you her mind on the spot if you crossed the line and move on with your jaw hanging-staring at her dust. That one was a Diva I tell you. The respectful-kind-yet-no-nonsense-type.
Why am I racing with you through my thoughts you might wonder. Well… firstly, its my blog. An encapsulation of all of my thoughts be it creative or features from others or personal. Just kidding…Or am I?
On a more serious note,even though I have referenced to so many I do not like dramatic situations; the demise of my friend and seeing her face one last time over the weekend and remembering the legacy my sister left me with have really opened my mind to how living a drama free life is not just possible but attainable. Not just attainable but also how it could steer you away from negativity and stress. Negativity is a cancer afterall.
What you put out there is what you receive and sometimes in double folds. Believe it or not its true and I have seen this countless times in my own life and around me. I am too young to create or encourage drama around me. Since my sister and my friend are proof of how short life is and how “No one is ever promised tomorrow” I have resolved to live life to the fullest. Live my life in a positive light and steer away from negativity – a cancer.
My mom once told me as a young child, “Take it one day at a time”. I am sure she has forgotten she told me that a long time ago but, those words stuck with me and still ring in my head every time life tries to overwhelm me.
I have come to appreciate the power of family and friends who have become family. I have come to appreciate keeping a closed and tight circle of people I can trust completely and vice versa. People who love me unconditionally and for who I am. People who will defend me to the teeth and call me later to ask for details or clarification. I try to live a drama free life but my friend has really opened eyes and taught me why I should still push for it and not give up in my pursuit.
Due to her stance on life I can confidently say SHE LIVED! No regrets, laughter, joy, companionship and family bond, she traveled, ate french fries at odd hours and never got fat (please dont try this if you are like me). She might not have experienced the 2nd phase of her life – Pharmacy School and Womanhood but I feel she is at peace.
I am pained she had to leave us and I will forever miss her but at the same time, she has taught me so much. Things I already knew but I have seen play out in her life and now encourages me to keep pushing in that positive direction. People will judge you even though they shouldn’t and call you all sorts of things even though their own true self stares them back through their tainted mirror. But what can you do? Its unexcusable human nature.
No one is perfect but it doesn’t mean you can’t try to attain perfection. It will take time and you might fall so many times, but if you still push, get up and dust yourself and push again, and like me and my family include a lot of prayer and the belief in the power of God through Jesus Christ, trust me you will get there and you will be a happier better version of yourself. Always remember God never makes mistakes. You are who you are – Flaws and all because it’s how you were made so love yourself and be yourself! Be true to yourself and be happy! Don’t let society tell you you are an anomaly or cursed. You don’t have to fit into society’s standards! Create your own as long as happiness is achieved at the end. That I learnt from my mother.
I am sad, but I am happy.
Rest in Peace Philomena. You might be dead but you cheated death because you lived and had Christ on your side so no regrets! I love you!
Like i said, this is unedited and unscripted and just a therapeutic way to mourn my friend by freeing my mind. If you find any errors please do forgive. I just had to do this. And for my staunch followers who come here on a regular basis for a creative escape through the stories, plays and poems I post or feature, soon u will have your fill. Normal creative writing posts resume after this. Cheers! and thank you for sticking with House of Asante.
I love your reflections. And honestly, this IS your blog. You should never be afraid to post what you want.
And I think your mother is a tremendously wise person for the things she has taught you.
Thank you! 🙂